Masking My Neurodiversity
I found out about masking just a few years back. It totally took over my personality and is a huge source of anxiety for me. Masking is when someone, either on purpose or without even realizing it, hides their neurodivergent traits. This could mean covering up things like
feeling overwhelmed by sensory stuff, trying hard to make eye contact, or even planning out what to say in conversations. It’s all about trying to fit in and look like everyone else to meet what society expects of us. It really weighs on your soul and keeps us from being true to ourselves.
Several ways that we mask
Compensating for Executive Dysfunction
Going overboard with preparation, pushing yourself to be perfect, or hiding your mistakes because you're worried about what others might think.
Conceal Overwhelm
Keeping your sensory sensitivities to loud noises, bright lights, or crowded places under wraps so you don’t draw attention to yourself.
Suppress Stimming
Trying to stop yourself from doing repetitive stuff like fidgeting, rocking, or pacing that helps you feel more in control of your emotions.
Social Scripting
Practicing what to say, how to act, and the right facial expressions before heading into a meeting or hanging out with people.
The Impact of Masking
Mental Health Effects
Holding stuff in for too long can really ramp up anxiety, depression, and overall mental stress.
Feeling Lost
When your true self gets mixed up with how you act in front of others, it can make it tough to figure out what you really want and who you are.
Tired and Burned Out
Constantly thinking and feeling intensely can drain your energy, leading to ongoing stress and emotional fatigue.
Some Reason Why We Mask
Job Stuff
Navigating the expectations during interviews or at work where being different isn’t always welcomed.
Feeling Included
Trying to blend in with social groups or organizations that only communicate in ways that fit neurotypical styles.
Staying Safe
Keeping away from bullying, discrimination, or being left out in places that aren’t accepting.
The Persona
It's pretty much impossible to not put on a mask at all. (Carl Jung called it a 'persona'—basically the face we show to the world.) But for those of us who are neurodivergent, we can end up doing it in some really unhealthy ways. We must be willing and able to accept
ourselves as we are meant to be, and when we do that we are less likely to mask who we are from the world. The people we choose to be around, the public spaces we inhabit we all run the risk of putting on that mask to be accepted by other. It is up to us to find or create safe spaces we can exist in.
I feel like, in my own experience, hiding who I really am from my family was the hardest part. I ended up becoming someone totally different and lost sight of who I actually am. Now that I'm an adult, I’ve noticed that I can sometimes, but not always, connect with people enough to explain what masking is and how much it hurts.
There is so much more I can write about masking and society, but I'll save that for another post.
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